made me chuckle

my girlfriend laughed at me when I said I could build a car out of spaghetti. Should have seen her face when I drove pasta!!!!!
 
Man was stopped by police walking along the road with a penguin under his arm. You must take that penguin to the zoo he was told by the police. Later that day again the police found the man again walking along the road with the penguin under his arm. I told you to take that penguin to the zoo. I took it to the zoo now I am taking it to the pictures replied the man.:):):):)
 
Saw an ad that said "Telly for sale - £1.00. Volume stuck on full". I thought, I can't turn that down.
 
How do you tell the sex of an ant?
Put them in water and if it sinks it's a girl, if it floats then it's a boy-ant
 
I did some Xmas shopping on ebay. Ordered four Kindles.
imagine my face when I received a copy of the 2 ronnies greatest sketch dvd from south Africa..............
 
A friend of mine always wanted to get run over by a steam engine. When he did, he was chuffed to bits.
 
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?

One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
 
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