made me chuckle

A woman gets on the bus and driver say that's an ugly child you are carrying. The woman storms off to the back of the bus and tells a man sitting at the back that the driver has just insulted her. The man then says go back down their and give him a piece of you. I will hold your monkey.;):);):)
 
I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He said "Can u describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"
 
The Deaf Wife Problem

Colin feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'


That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens. 'Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'


No response.


So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'


Still no response.


Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.


So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'




'For F*-# sake, Colin, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!':):):):)
 
Colin Stewart said:
The Deaf Wife Problem

Colin feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.


'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'


That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens. 'Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'


No response.


So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'


Still no response.


Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.


So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'




'For F*-# sake, Colin, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!':):):):)
Click to expand...
Like being a fly on the wall in Colin's (Frank's) house.
 
Dog goes into a bar. 'Pint of lager please' says the dog. The barman is amazed and as he's pulling a pint he says to the dog 'Your a clever boy, ever thought of joining the circus?' the dog answers ' Why, are they looking for electricians'
 
how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

only one but the light bulb must want to change!
 
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