made me chuckle

[bazzateer]

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing except his underwear.

His friends ask "What are you supposed to be, then?"
"I'm a premature ejaculation." the man replies.
" Huh?"
"I've come in my pants!"

 

[PaulJL]

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?


It was too tyred!

 

[Doug]

what do you call a lady who always chucks her household bills on the fire?

Bernadette

 

[PaulJL]

An Asian family have been found dead in their houses. The murder weapon, a starting pistol has been found in a nearby stream. A police spokesperson has said that its definitely race related

 

[PaulJL]

Where do fish keep their money?

In a riverbank!

 

[Panky]

It's not often you see a Smurf's backside - once in a blue moon perhaps.

 

[Colin Stewart]

Got sunburn on Sunday so took a Viagra. Did not help the sunburn but at least it keeps the covers off my legs.

 

[Colin Stewart]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the toilet.
It has a silent p.

 

[Panky]

I was always upset that Whoopi Goldberg never married Peter Cushing.

 

[PaulJL]

Lol

 

[Panky]

It's raining cats and dogs....................I just stepped in a poodle

 

[renaultvation]

I remember back in 1971, a plane carrying Japanese gearboxes blew up in flight............it was raining Datsun cogs!

 

[dodgeram]

Never mind cats and dogs, it was raining chickens and ducks yesterday. Fowl weather.

 

[Colin Stewart]

Best laugh in a long time 2-2

 

[PaulJL]

What do you call a girl with a computer on her head?
Adelle

 

[PaulJL]

The other half wanted to move to a house where we could hear the seagulls on a morning..
I just bought us a new house next to the dump

 

[dodgeram]

How do you make a small fortune from a Commer?
Start with a large one

 

[PaulJL]

My mate just got the sack from the dodgems. He is going to sue them for funfair dismissal

 

[Terence]

Doctor doctor my willy has grown 4" over night.... Doctor replies... What's wrong with that? Well I thought it was going to turn into a Foot!

 

[PaulJL]

Why couldn't the toilet roll cross the road...

It got stuck in a crack