made me chuckle

[Panky]

They come on here for the jokes - but some are too bad even for crackers

 

[Doug]

Oh. I was hoping to know which cracker supplier to avoid..

 

[dodgeram]

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker

 

[Panky]

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

 

[colinthefox]

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

Aye, there's the rub.

 

[Colin Stewart]

Son came in from work today and said what height am I ? 5foot 8 I replied. That's great he said. I asked why do you ask. The work are paying off six fitters.

 

[dodgeram]

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other

 

[PaulJL]

A hill is funny but a mountain range is hill-areas

 

[PaulJL]

Due to a water shortage in Ireland the council decided to close lanes 4 and 5 of the swimming pool

 

[dodgeram]

I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going, Officer

 

[renaultvation]

Did you hear about the stationery van which got done for speeding?

 

[Doug]

92% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

[Doug]

No wait .. 93%

 

[Panky]

I fell into an upholstery machine earlier.
Don't worry I'm fully recovered now.

 

[Doug]

If Whoopi Goldberg married Gerard Depardieu, she'd be Whoopi Depardieu.

I bet you said it out loud.

 

[Panky]

If someone tried to shoot President Trump would his body guards shout 'Donald duck'

 

[dodgeram]

If you joke about President Trump, there will be hell toupee.

 

[Doug]

"President Trump" is clearly a description of bowel activity.

 

[PaulJL]

I used to clean toilets in a war zone... I still suffer from flushbacks

 

[Panky]

a man goes to a halloween costume party wearing nothing except his underwear and a woman on his back.

His friends ask "What are you supposed to be, then?"
"I'm a turtle," the man replies.
" A Turtle, How are you a turtle?, who's the woman on your back?"
"Oh her?" the man smiles. "That's just Michelle!"