made me chuckle

[dodgeram]

Commer van fan walks into an auto parts store and says to the counterman “I’d like a set of wiper blades for my Commer.” Counterman thinks for a minute, then replies “OK - sounds like a fair trade to me.”

 

[Terence]

I thought it might be a accident hotspot.... There was SKID MARKS everywhere!

 

[dodgeram]

Sadly, the guy who invented predictive text has passed away - the funeral is next monkey

 

[Panky]

How do you milk sheep?




Launch a new iPhone and charge £1000 for it.

 

[S0updragon]

No it's only £999. The pound must be used to ring your bank to admit you can't be trusted with money and need an adult to help

 

[dodgeram]

I recently got a new Korean mechanic for my Commer but it's hard to understand him - he speaks with a Hyundai Accent

 

[Panky]

Apparently it's designed for the 'Selfie Generation'

 

[Panky]

I recently got a new Korean mechanic for my Commer but it's hard to understand him - he speaks with a Hyundai Accent

I actually let out a groan when I read that

 

[Panky]

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes

 

[Panky]

I have a Polish friend who is a roadie in a band

I have a Czech one too, a Czech one too, Czech one too

 

[PaulJL]

Omg.... Go grab your coat

 

[PaulJL]

Lol

 

[Panky]

 

[S0updragon]

If they did have a sense of humour it could just be a room(no steps) with container for used oil . ‘What shower? Thought the sign was obvious’

 

[Panky]

Yesterday I visited the birthplace of the founder of modern dentistry.

I'm surprised that there isn't some kind of plaque on the wall.

 

[colinthefox]

There was, but they scraped it off.

 

[bazzateer]

Teacher: "Johnny, make up a sentence starting with the word 'I'. "

Johnny: "I is ....."

Teacher: "No Johnny, we always say "I am"

Johnny: "Sorry Miss, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

 

[Panky]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Hey we have a drink named after you'
The grasshopper says 'You have a drink named Steve?'

 

[Panky]

What was Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?



Hannnddd eeeeeyyyyeeeeeyyyyy

 

[dodgeram]

Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin were having a summit meeting at a 20-story building. During a break, the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their bodyguards.

First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said: "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears: "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.

Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump.
Lee started running toward the window. Putin grabbed him and said: "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied: "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"