joke

BSCortina Member






Dave was bragging to his boss one day."You know, I know everyone there is to know.Just name someone, anyone, and I know them".

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK Dave,how about Tom Cruise?".,

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom CruiseS doorand Tom Criuse shouts "Dave! Whats happening. Great to see you! Come on in for a beer"

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still septical. After they leave Criuse 's house ,he tells Dave that he thinkshim knowing Cruise was just lucky.

No, no, just name anyone else. says Dave.

President Bush, his boss replies quickly

Yup old buddies, says Dave. Lets flt out to Washington.

Off they go to the White House. Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying " Dave, what a suprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend, come on in and lets have a cup of coffee first and catch up".

Well the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anybody else.

The Pope, his boss replies.

Sure , says Dave,I've known the Pope for years. So off they fly to Rome

Dave and his bossare assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St Peters Square when Dave says "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell ypu what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope".
He dissappeared into the crowd and headed towards the Vatican.

Sure enough half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss's side Dave asks him "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says "It was the final straw....you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said...

"Who the *u*k is that on the balcony with Dave!!!"?

"you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off"
 
The Ferrari Formula ! Team fired the entire pit crew today.

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's "Work for the Dole" scheme and employ some Liverpudllian youngsters. The decision to hire was bought about by a recent document ary on how unemployed youths of Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipement, whereas Ferrari's crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of equipment.

It is thought to be an excellent, bold move by Ferrari's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other F1 team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the Crew's first practice session ,not only did the Scouse crew change all 4 wheels in less than 6 seconds,but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, re-badged and sold the car to McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some pictures of Hamilton's bird in the shower!!! .
any comment panky :D:D:D

"you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off no.3"
 
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