Christmas jokes

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

“In honour of this holy season,” St Peter said, “You must each possess something that represents Christmas to get into heaven.”

The first man searched his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said.

“Very well, you may pass through” St Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”

St Peter said, “You may also pass through.”

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter shot a questioning look at the man.

The man replied, “These are Carol’s.”
 
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One Christmas Eve, Santa was under a lot of stress.

He and Mrs. Claus had just had a fight, it was nearly time to leave and not only was his sleigh not loaded but the elves were talking about going on strike.

Then an angel walked into his office and asked, “Hey, Santa, what do you want me to do with this Christmas tree?”

And so was born the tradition of there being an angel on top of the Christmas tree.
 
You've heard of the red-nosed reindeer but have you heard about the brown-nosed reindeer?

He can run as fast as Rudolph, he just can’t stop as fast.
 
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