Back of the garage

A real agony aunt letter.

Dear Deirdre

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her mobile phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my commer next to the garage and then hide behind it so that I could get a good view of the whole road when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my van, that I noticed some rust on the rear valence. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it to a garage?

Thanks, Bob


"you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off"
 
Well Bob a real dilemma I'm sure. The first thing I would do is to confront the problem head on, no use in messing about. Take a wire brush and attack the beast rubbing vigorously. It the problem is still evident then try the chemical cure, an acid dip can work wonders on those unwanted items. If this seems a bit extreme try a chipping hammer and beat repeatedly until the desired result is achieved. As for you Commer best wait until your conniving b***h of a wife has finally been seen off and then you will have plenty of time to give her the loving attention she deserves. You might be lucky and find out her fancy bloke works in a body shop.
I do hope you have found this reply useful in some way.

Auntie Panky
 
hmmm what with greased nipples, and looking for something to squeeze at the bottom of your shaft, leaking bottom ends and warped heads...Makes me wonder where we find the time to actually drive our beloved motors! [}:)]
 
Hello me old mucker how are things with you, still painting and waxing your legs (add that to the list of deviant past times we indulge in) [}:)]
 
Dear Auntie Panky,
Thank you for brightening my day:),
I was trying to picture what Auntie Panky would look like, this was closest to what I came up with[:X]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-od7BmSP2yo&feature=related
 
You not far wrong, my kids used to say my big brother Eddie looked like Kenny Everet, I must be a 'chunkier' version :I
 
What a whirlwind day I've had. Decided to stick with the original carb to get the engine up and running so gave is a quick scrub and strapped it on. Fitted a new thermostat housing after I b****red the original one up, connected up some pipes and cables and before I knew where the time had gone an hour and a half had passed [:0] I've been 'Christmassy' for the rest of the weekend :I
 
quote:
I've been 'Christmassy' for the rest of the weekend :I



Drunk, bloated and trying to be nice to the mother in law?
 
think this sums up christmasquote:
Originally posted by studiocommer

bah humbug[}:)]


perhaps we should have an anti christmas meet :D:p:D:)
 
The Mini is still ongoing so I thought I would post an update. I've been struggling to get the engine running and all sorts of nasty reasons why it wouldn't start have crossed my mind and I had visions of pulling the lump out again to strip it down. I eventually coaxed some life into it by connecting up a temporary power supply to the dizzy (don't know what happened to the original wire) and pouring a shot of petrol down the carb. A quick rev and it died again but I could repeat it every time with another squirt of juice. I reckoned the fuel pump was U/S so a Facet electric pump was swiftly won off of ebay and plumbed in complete with a Filter King regulator and new copper fuel line front to back, the new pipe was to cure the leaks that dribbled a couple of gallons of petrol on to the garage floor when we were away on holiday[xx(]. Guess what, no blxxdy different. I've been tinkering for the last couple of weekends with timing, stripping the carb and generally checking around but all I could achieve was the same couple of seconds run. Head scratch head scratch. It is here that I wish my memory was better and pledge to take pictures or draw diagrams and to bag up bits from different stages of the strip-down in future, not just chuck everything in a bucket like I usually do :I Anyway it was now down to trial and error and I was checking the carb for the millionth time making sure that I had the right pipes on the right connections. Two of them were pretty obvious, the fuel line and the vacuum connection to the brake servo but I assumed that the third connection had run to the original air filter but I ditched that for a K&N and blanked the connection off. In desperation I yanked the piece of tube that acted as a blank off the carb and turned the key, the engine burst into life and ran although sounding a bit rough. A few tweaks on the timing and choke got it running quite well (I think it is going to be a bit of a hooligan [}:)]) but it just wont start without a shot of petrol down the throat and cuts out when the choke is pushed in, but at least it works :D. Here's where I need some advise (Tim) I assume the engine is running very lean that's why it cuts out without choke and could be caused by this open pipe on the carb, any idea where it should be connected to? Maybe the inlet manifold? I just can't remember and the manual isn't very helpful. It's an 1 3/4 SU as fitted to MG Metro's, HF44 I think

'Harvey the RV'
 
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