made me chuckle
- Thread starter PaulJL
- Start date
S0updragon
Well-Known Member
S0updragon
Well-Known Member
My favourite joke of all that one - not to be used in front of Chris Eubank
PaulJL
0
Woman stops 12 ft gator with .22 pistol! ..:
"Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol." Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words: "While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.
The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"
"Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol." Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.
This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words: "While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.
The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"
Someone stole my thesaurus. I can't describe how I feel, I'm just angry!
Q My child won't eat meat. What should I replace it with?.................
A .........a dog?
A .........a dog?
I've become addicted to brake fluid...
... But it's ok, I can stop any time.
... But it's ok, I can stop any time.
TriComm
0
A U.S. Marine walked the entire length of the train looking for a seat before realizing that the only seat available was currently occupied by a well-dressed, middle-aged French woman's poodle.
The weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed, and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire length of the train again, and discovered that the only seat available was in fact the one currently being occupied by the poodle.
Trudging tiredly back, the marine arrived once more before the French woman and said, “Please Ma'am, may I sit down? I'm very tired?”
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant. Why should I care if you are tired?"
This time, the Marine didn't say a word, but simply picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, then sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone, defend my honour! This American needs to be put in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold your fork in the wrong hand, and you drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
The weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman just sniffed, and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire length of the train again, and discovered that the only seat available was in fact the one currently being occupied by the poodle.
Trudging tiredly back, the marine arrived once more before the French woman and said, “Please Ma'am, may I sit down? I'm very tired?”
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant. Why should I care if you are tired?"
This time, the Marine didn't say a word, but simply picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, then sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone, defend my honour! This American needs to be put in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold your fork in the wrong hand, and you drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."