Vladimir Putin consulted with a fortune teller. He asked: “How long will I live?” The psychic replied: “I cannot tell that but I do know you will die on a Ukrainian holiday.” “Which holiday?” Putin asked. The fortune teller replies “Whichever day you die will be a Ukrainian holiday.”
Vladimir Putin walks up to a customs officer at the airport after landing in a foreign country.
Customs officer - Name?
Putin - Vladimir Putin
Customs officer - Occupation?
Putin - No, I’m only visiting this country.